NCIS: Los Angeles - Deep Trouble (Part 2)

EEEEEEEP
That is all.

This is possibly one of the most-anticipated premieres for me this year. Partly cos of the stupid cliffhanger, partly cos I love the people on this show! They're like a little family, complete with excellent chirps. AND THEY LIVE-TWEET!!!!

Who among us hasn't compared our sibling to a sheep?

New theme sequence is new! And includes Eric and Nell removing their sunglasses in sync - I'm going to take that as an homage to CSI: Miami and give it a thumbs-up.

Who exactly is steering that sub? And where is Hetty going?? And Granger - YOU DO NOT TURN OFF HENRIETTA LANGE!! She has a lipstick gun in her purse and she's not afraid to use it!

Friendly reminder: Hetty is a badass.

Everyone keeps saying Kensi and Talia (remember, that cute DEA agent that had cringe-inducing chemistry with Deeks?) are 'twins'. But all I can tell is that they both have brown hair and crushes on the same dude. And like kicking ass. That could be anybody. Even me! (If I knew martial arts and Deeks was a real person and I knew him)

Where the hell did Sam find a Sharpie on that submarine?? Oooh turns out there are actually people on the submarine! And they're terrorists. Muslim terrorists. Typical TV.

YOU DO NOT CONDESCEND TO KENSI BLYE!!! And Talia gets a headbutt to prove it. Also, Talia is borderline-creepy with all her innuendo - also hey, girly, has it occurred to you that a) Kensi is referring to Deeks as her 'partner' and not her 'boyfriend' because she wants to stay professional and keep her job and b) it doesn't matter if you hit on Deeks, if he doesn't like you, he's not gonna reciprocate?? Sheesh...

I seriously don't see the resemblance. Just because they're both wearing plaid...

Callen just coined the term 'mathmagician' and suddenly Sam is a human calculator. And because they're running out of air, they're gonna go crazy before they die. This ought to be good.

Here's a clue: some people bought fertilizer. This is suspicious only if they are not gardening. HETTY'S BAAAACK!!! And Granger is interrogating some guy who was on the season finale who we've forgotten already - apparently he built the sub? OOH so he can help! Maybe? I don't get it.

Deeks is also a human calculator, and has just informed a dying man who is 'refusing to die' that he has 'refused to grow up' which was unnecessary, because we already knew that. Oh, how I've missed his banter. Even if it's not with Kensi. Should he really be drinking on the job? Even as a bargaining tool? HAHAHAHA nevermind it's apple juice. And he fooled the guy into thinking he was dying, but he's really not. So many mind games here!!

Apple juice: pretending to be scotch on TV since... The invention of colour TV.

YES LET'S START A FIRE ON THIS UNDERWATER SUB WHICH IS FULL OF EXPLOSIVES!!! THAT WILL NOT CAUSE ANY PROBLEMS AT ALL!!! Sam logic. And is it just me, or is LL Cool J starting to look like a wax figure of himself in this scene?

And ok why does every single Muslim terrorist on this show have to have a really thick accent?? Like seriously. Especially the ones who are supposed to 'blend in' always drop their American voices after they're revealed to be bad guys. How cheesy is that?? (And yet they still communicate with each other in English, of course)

Holy crap how has only a half hour gone by already?? I feel like so much has happened already!! TIME IS IRRELEVANT IN NCIS:LA LAND!! Callen is joking about Sam dying, and this might be the beginning of him going insane. 'Too soon' to joke about Sam dying BEFORE he dies... I would think 'too early'. And oh please, these terrorists are capable of driving a sub but don't know Morse Code?

Hetty!! You know praying is a useless plan of action!! Why do you not have a better idea?? Or are you saving it until the last possible second just so you can be awesome as usual?? Cos that's a really mean plot device, you know... 

Speaking of mean things, it is mean for them to post this and remind me that I am not on that couch right now.

Typically, the ladies gang up on Deeks, who asks if he's missing something - Kensi replies 'yes, it's called a frontal cortex'. ZING! And then he gets his revenge by pretending to be Kensi's fiance and tackling an old lady. (She was a bad guy, don't worry).

Callen tells Sam he needs to act like Mr. T, and Sam wonders aloud if he would have been better off with Deeks. [Side note: Sam & Deeks trapped in a room together?? I want to see that episode please NCIS:LA writers!!!!]

The Navy is now dropping bombs over the sub.. And for some reason, the Navy bomber looks an awful lot like a commercial jet. When did Hetty get so religious??

Terrorists want to die on their mission, but now they're so desperate they just decided to kill Sam and Callen in an effort to stop sinking. I don't get the physics or the logic of this show. But obviously it backfires, because Sam and Callen are awesome. We interrupt this episode of NCIS:LA to bring you Jaws, with the terrorists being snuck up on and dragged under the surface.  (By Sam and Callen. There isn't a shark on this sub. Want to make that clear.)

DUN dun... DUN dun... DUN dun... DUNdunDUNdunDUNdun etc.

The Navy drops the bombs anyway, team at Ops looks somber, shit-they're-dead-fakeout aaaand then they surface right beneath the helicopter containing Kensi and Deeks - and for good measure, throw in some witty banter while treading water. Nothing can phase those two.

Deeks just uttered the phrase 'nerd herd' and I'm taking it as a shoutout to Chuck. Speaking of whom, it's Zachary Levi's birthday today - yaaaaay!! The day before mine - double yaaaay!!!

A motto for today, and every day.

I know you're celebrating the fact that no one died, but should ALL of you be drinking at work???

Season 6 is off to a good start! See you next week! (Hope you all remember it's on Mondays now, I know that's going to mess with me for a while)